November 20th, 2011


My mother is doing better.

Lately I've been very occupied with the hurricane of events that recently emerged, helping my mother cope with the death of her husband, and generally getting used to no longer having my dad around.

Aside from that, things are actually going surprisingly well. Mom just bought a new car with the insurance money, for a steal of a price too. Dad used to drive her where she needed to go, and with him gone she had to get her license. She's already successfully received her learner's permit, which is good. Becoming mobile again is at the top of her priorities right now.

She still has episodes of sadness on occasion, but they seem to be growing increasingly manageable. It used to be that simply mentioning Dad in her presence ran the risk of causing her to burst into tears. Now she and I can exchange memories of Dad with little more than a nostalgic smile from her. As I said, there are still moments when she is sad. She recently expressed to me her guilt at buying the car; she felt as if she were profiting from Dad's death. I told her that Dad would have wanted her to have it. A vehicle is a necessity, and without it she will not be as capable as she could be. Also, she can't continue to be reliant on her children for rides whenever she needs to run an errand or buy groceries, to say nothing of getting to and from her job.

She will be returning to work later this week, which has her anxious. She is not looking forward to her co-workers' remorse at her loss. When people express remorse to her, that tends to trigger her own sadness. After that passes, she hopes to regain some semblance of normalcy in her job.

All in all, things are going better than I had originally anticipated. I only hope that she continues to move on, but at the moment there is no real indication that she will become trapped in a cycle of regret.
  • Current Mood
    relieved relieved