August 29th, 2011


Back home, and feeling drained.

I just returned home. I was very fortunate in that nothing has been damaged. Being that my house is located directly on the shore of a bay I was worried about possible flooding, but that didn't happen. I didn't even lose electricity, which is excellent.

I spent the past two days at my brother Damon's house. He was gone for the majority of the time. Being a cop, his services were required during the emergency, making it necessary for him to sleep at his job instead of at home. Upon arriving I was stricken with a heavy migraine marked by intense pain in my head and eyes, as well as nausea. That passed in a few hours.

I haven't slept well these past few days. At first it was due to worry about the hurricane, then my agoraphobia kicked in, rendering it impossible for me to relax in my unfamiliar surroundings. I tried to sleep, but found it impossible no matter how tired I became. I got five hours the first day as my body struggled to recover from the migraine. The next night I only slept for one hour. Needless to say, I plan to go to bed shortly after writing this. I look forward to getting a good rest in the familiar comfort of my own bedroom.

Everything went smoothly, save for one thing. I had taken my mother's laptop computer with me so I could keep abreast of the hurricane's progress. My sleep deprivation, coupled with my single-minded obsession with returning home, caused me to forget to take it with me. I took that lapse a lot harder than was necessary, possibly due to my nerves being raw from all the excitement and my lack of sleep. I still feel guilty for forgetting it even with my niece's assurances that she'll pick up the laptop on Saturday.

I'll probably feel a lot better once I've finally slept, and better still once Saturday rolls around and the laptop is returned. Mom doesn't seem to mind, and I realize that this guilt is entirely self-inflicted, but feelings aren't always rational.

Unpacking my things made me notice just how much a creature of habit I am. Nothing felt right until I had all of my possessions put back in their proper locations and arranged "just so". Only after I'd restored everything to the way they should be did I start to relax.

As usually happens when I spend a prolonged period of time in an unfamiliar place and around people, I feel "drained" and have to spend some time alone to recharge. I don't want to see another person right now. I just want some quiet and a long sleep. I want to forget the past two days and return to my familiar habits. After I sleep I'll do some writing. Nothing relaxes me more than becoming absorbed in my work, imagining stories and writing them down. If I manage to do that my mood will improve exponentially.

Anyway, I probably shouldn't be writing while I'm still so frazzled. I'm going to get some sleep and enjoy some down time. I'll be feeling much better shortly.
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    drained drained