So I got my Xbox 360 all wrapped up and ready to ship to the repair center, but it seems that it simply refuses to leave my hands no matter what I try.

Tried shipping it out on Saturday, but the UPS place I go to had changed its schedule to be closed on the weekends. I tried the next day, but a snowstorm made it too difficult to go hunting for alternate shipping locations. I got the brainstorm of handing the package to the UPS guy, who is scheduled to deliver a Christmas gift I ordered tomorrow. Tracking my package and confirming a delivery date of tomorrow, I went to bed content in the knowledge that I had the situation under control.

That is until I was suddenly and forcibly woken up and told to hurry because someone had gotten the bright idea of stopping the UPS driver in the street and holding him there for me. Faster that I could say "holy crap!" I was urged to get the package out RIGHT NOW! Problem was, I had taken the Xbox 360 out in a last ditch effort to self-diagnose the problem following some instructions on the Internet and I hadn't repacked it, thinking that I had until tomorrow. Still groggy from sleep and unable to think, I flailed about with cardboard and packing tape like a madman while being told to HURRY UP, HURRY UP, HE'S WAITING, over and over again.

I managed to get it together and handed the newly packed console over, and seconds after the helpful fellow rushed down the stairs to deliver it to the UPS driver, a panicked thought struck my still woozy head just over a minute out of bed.

Did I leave my game in there?

I rushed out the door, barefoot, in a t-shirt and shorts (thank God the snow was shoveled!) and stopped the driver who had just accepted the package, explaining that my game was still in there. He couldn't wait, so he handed the package to me and drove off. As I walked back inside, the cold air waking me up like a slap to the face, I was now awake enough to realize that I was outside in practically nothing and that I had just made myself look like an idiot.

The funny part? The console's disc tray was empty. I only remembered that I never had put a game in there after I no longer had someone urging me to hurry and was finally given time to think. Not only had I made a fool of myself, I'd done it for nothing without even realizing it.

The driver promised to return later, and I won't be able to sleep until this accursed package is away from here. I'll have to make do with the 2 hours of sleep that I managed to snag before the sky started falling.

My Xbox broke ... again. That makes this my 3rd broken Xbox 360, so the next Xbox I receive from Microsoft's repair center will be my 4th one. This time I got the red ring of death. This almost feels like a personal Merry Christmas from Microsoft. Thanks Microsoft, that Xbox 360 was a bit of an eyesore and I was just thinking "wouldn't it be great to NOT be able to play any video games I get for Christmas?"

It's not as big a deal as I make it out to be. I have plenty to keep me occupied, and then some, until my replacement arrives. I'm finishing up the edits on my novel, which I hope to have done soon. The lack of distracting video games will do wonders for my productivity, I imagine.

Editing chapter 21 out of 32. After I'm done with this I'm going to pass a copy along to some people for feedback. I don't have many people lined up yet, but I have a few places where I think I can ask for help. The most promising offer of help, so far, came from my sister-in-law, Suzy. My brother told me she's an English major with aspirations of becoming an editor. When I offered to send a copy of my book to my brother, she volunteered to help out as well.

Outside of that, I don't have a lot of options. I don't exactly have an ocean of friends; I like to keep my circle small and less complicated. Hasn't stopped several people from owing me money, though. Anyway, I'm a bit wary of asking for help on the Internet, essentially putting my life's work in the hands of people I don't know. The few Internet contacts I have specialize in gay and lesbian fiction, and my work is more mainstream, but their insight would still be very helpful if I can convince them to give it a look.

I'm getting ahead of myself. I shouldn't be thinking about who to show my work to until I have a polished work to show. Soul-stealing computer games aside, I'm very excited about this project. It's almost done, and I'm eager to put it in the hands of others and see how it holds up under scrutiny. One step at a time. I have to forget everything else and focus on the task at hand. If my head is filled with thoughts of what's going to happen in the future I won't be able to give the present the attention it requires.

Dragon Age: Origins has eaten my life. I knew it was going to be a good game but, wow, I wasn't prepared for this. The only disappointment I feel with this game is that I know it eventually has to end.

That's not exactly true. There are several bugs in the PC version I purchased, the biggest of which is that I can't download any of the addons I've earned and purchased because Electronic Arts has them linked to some social website. I created an EA account, redeemed my codes, linked my Bioware account to my EA account, and after jumping through all of those hoops like a trained seal I can't access any of the addons that are tied to my account. From what I understand, I'm hardly the only one so affected. The tech support forum is littered with similar complaints, from being unable to download addons in the first place to addons failing to function once they are downloaded and installed. Overall, that aspect of the game is a mess. Thank you, EA, for buying out yet another talented company and slowly, but surely, turning them into shit.

Whatever happened to the days where you could simply download your addons from the company website, install it yourself, and be on your way? I would love to be able to play the extra missions I purchased, but I have no such luck. It's a little funny when I think of the people who pirated the game and are happily playing a cracked version with functioning addons. I imagine they're probably pointing and laughing at those of us who bought our copies honestly.

Anyway, I vowed to stop playing that game until I've made some more headway in my work. I really need to stop getting addicted to games or else I might never finish editing my book.

I managed to get my brother on the phone and he was much more helpful. I got the info I need and I will show Mom the facebook page tomorrow.

I told my bro the story of our sister's actions and he said "I guess that explains it." I asked what he meant, and he told me that she had just left a message on his facebook telling him that "right now, you're looking like the good brother."

I'm still amazed that she can be so vindictive. I was only trying to help our mother, and she's having a fit and ranting about me to anyone who will listen. Amazing. I could do with a beer right about now.

Today's a somber occasion in this house. It's the birthday of my Aunt Rodelle, who had died shortly after I was born. Obviously I never knew her personally, but my mother always tells me the story of how my dying aunt insisted on seeing me when I was a baby, and how when she saw me for the first time she said "this child is blessed." To be completely honest, I always feel a little ashamed when I remember that story. Obviously, she'd had some high hopes for me and I sometimes wonder if I'd fallen short of those hopes.

Anyway, a relative put up a memorial on Facebook, including her picture. Friends and family members are visiting that page and commenting on her life and what she meant to them. I, unfortunately, didn't get a chance to view that page and pay my respects, and neither did my mother. My mom is upset and in tears right now, because she wants to see her sister's memorial but can't. We're trying to get the information for the facebook page. My dad called my eldest brother, who gave her a relative's number, etc. Hopefully we'll be able to see it tomorrow, but I regret that we won't be able to see it on her birthday.

Why not, you ask? Well, it's because of my sister.

I called my niece, Shanti, to ask about the facebook page. I said it was for her grandmother, and she was happy to help. She said that the link is in her mother's, my sister's, facebook account and she'd have to give me the information so I can access it. She asked her mother for permission, and it all went downhill from there.

"Don't give him my facebook!" my sister shouted, plainly audible in the background.

My niece asked why not, and the two started arguing. I'd be the first to admit that my sister and I aren't on the best of terms. I wouldn't use the word "hate," but we're not exactly on speaking terms either. Still, I felt that our social standing was irrelevant. There are some things that are bigger than how two people personally feel about each other. This is not about myself or my sister, this is about our grieving mother who just wants to see her sister's memorial. I assumed that, given the circumstances, she would be able to see that. I was wrong.

"He's a cocksucker!" she shouted at her daughter when pressed for an explanation for her refusal to help me. My niece was as appalled by her attitude as I was. I asked Shanti to put her mother on the phone, but my sister refused to speak to me. Instead she put the phone on speaker so she could hear. I tried to reason with her. I told her "our mother is grieving for her sister, and all she wants is to see her memorial. I know we have differences, but can we please put them aside just this once? Do you want me to tell Mother that she can't see her sister just because you don't like me?"

My sister ranted that she didn't want to speak to me anymore, that I was being mean, and that I should not dare call her house again. Shanti was astonished. She protested that I was being reasonable, and why is this such a big deal anyway? My sister called the both of us "selfish" and stormed off. Shanti apologized for her mother's behavior and e-mailed me a copy of Rodelle's photograph so I could at least give my mother a printout of that.

I'm not angry with my sister, just deeply disappointed and saddened by her spiteful behavior. Does she really think she can justify insulting her aunt's memory by denying our mother a chance to pay her respects, just because she wants to make a strike against me? Can she really not see past her own petty grudge to view the larger picture? I'm well aware that people can get ugly, but it's always disappointing when you see such ugliness coming from your own family.

Anyway, I'm cooking dinner today. I intend to occupy my time to get my mind off of this. My mother is very upset and vowed to give my sister a talking-to tomorrow.

I woke up with a migraine, and it was awful. I was given some tramadol, and it affected me way more than I thought it would. I'm feeling very relaxed and mellow right now, and a little hungry. The pain, dizziness, and nausea are gone, too, which is a plus.

I did it again. I know I shouldn't play any RPGs while I'm working on my novel, but Risen was just released and I had to play it. All I know is that fore the past few nights I'd sit down to play, and suddenly the sun was rising. That game is awesome. I finished it last night, but my RPG obsession isn't quite over yet. Borderlands is coming out in a few days, and I have Dragon Age: Origins, collector's edition, on pre-order. I'm going to be an an RPG coma for quite some time. I'd better learn to manage my work and play time more effectively. I'm making good progress, though. I'm editing chapter 15 (out of 32) currently.

My sister-in-law, Suzy, offered to read my work when I'm done editing. She's an English major with aspirations of being a professional editor, so my novel will be like practice for her. My dad is reading chapters as they are finished, and by brother Walter also agreed to read it. I'm eager to get this work finished so I can finally have eyes other than mine read it. My dad doesn't count, as he's not normally a reader and thus isn't a source for constructive criticism. He's been very encouraging, though, and that's been an invaluable morale booster.

Anyway, I should get some more work done before I turn in for the night. I want to get as much done as possible before the next RPG comes around and sucks me in.

Amazing video. As you may know, I hate Twilight with the fiery passion of a thousand suns. This is mainly because it promotes a sick, abusive, stalker relationship as "true love." It's refreshing, then, to see a video like this that portrays the creepiness of Twilight's "relationship" so well.

While randomly looking through youtube for something to alleviate my late-night boredom I came across a series of videos called Game Overthinker, which is exactly what it sounds like. A guy so nerdy that he makes me look like a high school football jock by comparison thinks way too much about video games and shares his thoughts via online video. After I was finished snickering about his in-depth analysis of Kirby and his holiday wishlist, I found that he has some pretty insightful things to say from time to time, and in some cases we share opinions.

For one he, like me, has absolutely no patience for the "console war" where gaming nerds gather in message boards and scream "my video game console is better than your video game console." Yeah, I used to be one of those people back in the 90s who was in the "Nintendo camp," but the main difference here is that I grew up and moved on to more worthwhile things. Similarly, he also has no patience for "hardcore gamers" (a term I always found silly) who snicker at anything that isn't either Madden or a blood-fest in a post-apocalyptic landscape because, in their words, it's "sooo gay!"

I had a hard time picking out my favorite video out of two that really stood out for me, so I'm going to link them both.

Game Overthinker - It Can Happen to Us



Game Overthinker - The End of the World as Wii Know It

It took slightly longer than expected, but the first draft of The Spirit Sky is now complete. This draft of the book weighs in at 115,368 words. The final word count will change after I've completed the first round of edits. I'm eager to begin polishing this story and making sure that it's just right for others to read.

I'm going to take a moment to savor the fact that it's done before continuing my work. I am extremely excited right now.

I should NOT get into a new game when I'm trying to finish my novel, especially since I have a tendancy to become obsessed. I got a hold of Hellgate London and have been playing it practically non-stop the past week. It's not a particularly great game, I'm just a big sucker for "kill and loot" RPGs. If the idea of Diablo 2 in 3D appeals to you, it may be your cup of tea.

I got practically zero work done because of that obsession. I could not do much of anything until I finished it, which I just did a little while ago. Now that I'm finally free, it's back to work. I'll try not to start up any more RPGs until I'm done with my work. I may need a day or so to get used to the work schedule again.

Meanwhile, I'm winding down and listening to some music. Particularly, I discovered a band called Sieges Even, a progressive act that I've really gotten into. My favorite song from them is below.

Sieges Even - Tidal



All I can say is thank goodness I feel no great desire to play Hellgate London over again on Nightmare difficulty, otherwise I'd be looking at another week of shameless procrastination.

I used to be a big yu-gi-oh fan back when the original series was still airing it's first season in the USA. I still watch an episode every now and then on youtube if I'm bored enough and looking for something campy to watch. I saw some clips of the latest episodes of Yu-Gi-Oh 5d's and I have to say it has, be far, the most ridiculous premise out of all the series I've seen.

With Yu-Gi-Oh, my suspension of disbelief could buy the "saving the world by playing a children's card game" thing. That's because, for all the stupidity in the show it was at least entertaining. Not to mention watching it made watching Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series even funnier. I recommend you watch that, by the way, even if you're not a yu-gi-oh fan (or perhaps, especially so?) It makes fun of the show a LOT better than I could.

The first series had ancient prophesies and the summoning of gods and saving the world through the power of friendship. I dare you to take a drink whenever they make a friendship speech. You'll go blind. It was cheesy, but at least it had a plot and was entertaining for what it was.

Then along comes Yu-Gi-Oh GX. As I said, I could almost buy the concept of saving the world by playing a children's card game, but this show took it a step further. In a decision I could only assume was an attempt to capitalize on the popularity of Harry Potter, suddenly the show takes place in a card game academy that teaches people HOW TO PLAY A CHILDREN'S CARD GAME! I am not kidding. I remember one scene where a kid in class was asked to list the different types of yu-gi-oh cards and I couldn't stop laughing. The first season had no plot to speak of, but as the show progressed it got WAY darker. Suddenly the main character developed a genocidal evil side and was stalled by a half-naked trading card monster (don't ask) who had this weird obsession with hurting him because she loved him (sounds like BDSM to me).

I wasn't really paying that much attention. At this point I only watched because I still played the game and wanted to see what kind of cool cards were going to be released in the future. I ended up skipping most of the story segments and going straight to the duels. I do remember the later seasons being really depressing, though, because the writers had decided to go the darker and edgier route with the story. I stopped caring at the point where one of the characters started placing electrodes on his opponents that caused them to get electric shocks whenever he took damage.

Finally, we come to 5d's and, my goodness, does this show rape my suspension of disbelief. Now we're in the future and people are PLAYING CHILDREN'S CARD GAMES ON MOTORBIKES. They race around the city on their bikes and play card games at high speed. They also toss in some crap about destiny and chosen ones and saving the world from evil forces, but COME ON! Card games on motorbikes!

As if THAT weren't ridiculous enough, I just saw clips of the latest season of this show and it turns out that between the last season and this one, the whole city has been remodeled so that special driveways will rise out of the ground and traffic will be redirected whenever players on motorbikes start a duel. ARE YOU FRIGGEN KIDDING ME? It's ridiculous enough on the face of it, but it gets worse when you think about the amount of time, money, and manpower that must have went into the construction of these thing all for a CHILDREN'S CARD GAME! I laughed my ass off the first time I saw it.

I know, this is the TV series that has super-advanced holograms that exist for the sole purpose of enriching the experience of playing a children's trading card game, but highways rising from the ground so people on motorbikes have a place to play said games is a new level in ridiculousness.

By the way, I stopped playing the game a while ago. The first reason is because everyone I used to play with moved away, and the second is because the local players seem to be a bunch of stop having fun guys who judge your worth as a human being based solely on the kind of cards you play with. I decided I didn't want to continue playing if I ran the risk of eventually becoming like one of them.

Right when I thought the whole Twilight thing couldn't get any more creepy. BEHOLD, the vampire dildo.

http://tantusinc.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TD&Product_Code=VAMP

With SPARKLES!

I want to die.

I find it difficult to explain The Spirit Sky without first describing the characters, since the real meat of the story is them and how they interact with each other. The descriptions are in the link.

( The Spirit Sky Characters )

Remember that internet service I just had upgraded? Well, it turns out that Verizon managed to mess things up.

The internet is fine, it's my PHONES that no longer work! There was a repair man just here saying that he'd been sent to install phone lines into the house. I told him that I had only used the Verizon website to have my internet speed upgraded and didn't want any lines installed. He must have misunderstood me, because now I have no telephone service. I just called Verizon on my cell phone and it turns out I'll have to go the day without phone service while I wait for them to send a repair man tomorrow.

Thankfully I'm not expecting any calls today, but man that sucks! The funny part is that I'd used the Verizon website to place my order because I thought it would be more convenient than calling them. Guess I was wrong.

I'm writing the character descriptions I promised, but a note on my internet service right now. I learned a fea days ago that Verizon upgraded their FIOS speeds for all customers, and for those customers who live in high-competition areas like New York (where I live), service has been amped up even further.

I just ran a speed test of my new fios speeds, and they are INSANE!



My current plan, because I live in New York, is 35mbps down and 20mbps up. Before I was at 20mbps down and 5mbps up. This is friggen insane. If you need me, I'll be downloading the crap out of EVERYTHING!

Money has been tight around here lately. It's funny that me, the person with the least amount of money in the house, is giving loans out to everyone else. One guy already owes me $240, a sum I would never loan to anyone but him because I know he's good for it.

Today I'm not only paying for dinner, but I'm cooking for everyone too. I actually volunteered to cook because we just got a cast iron skillet that I want to try out. I am by no means a chef, but I know how valuable those things are. Let's just say that when the owner of that skillet dies, I'm calling dibs on it. It's seasoning in the oven right now before I use it.

My book, The Spirit Sky is turning out extremely well. I am amazed at how well it's turning out and I can't wait to finish it. It's at 80,000 words right now and I'm hoping to finish it off at around the 100k mark. A bit of useless trivia: The first manuscript I ever finished, Shadow Bond weighed in at roughly 140,000 words.

Since the story is so far along I feel comfortable talking about it, but it's a bit tough for me to describe because it marks a number of firsts for me as a writer. It's not high fantasy like I usually write, instead taking place in a fictional city in the USA. It can be best described as a character drama with fantasy as a backdrop, meaning that the story is very much about the characters and how they interact with each other within the context of the plot. There is no "save the world" storyline, and the most that is at stake (at least in the first book) is the main character's happiness, sanity, and well-being.

It is also much more comedy-driven than I'm used to writing, mostly due to the main character being a computer nerd and having a sarcastic and, at times, bratty personality. I'm getting ahead of myself, though. Here's the basics of the plot.

The main character's name is Matthew Crowley. He's a 19 year-old computer geek, avid gamer, and fantasy nerd. He spends most of his time playing MMORPGs on his computer with his two friends, Kyle and Terry. When not setting beasts on fire with his high level wizard character, he works in a department store as a stock boy. He lives with his parents, Andrew and Agatha Crowley who have a bit of a rocky relationship. This is especially so during the summer seasons, when Matthew's dad suffers from a severe case of depression that all but incapacitates him, coupled with an increased workload at his job.

During one average day at work he runs into a strange girl named Anna and her legal guardian, Roger. This meeting doesn't go very well at all, but soon afterward Matthew's body undergoes unexpected changes as a consequence of meeting Anna. The next day he sees a spirit in the park doing something strange to the park attendants. Shortly afterward the spirit tries to murder him, and he is rescued by Roger, Anna, and their boss, Cassandra. The three, it turns out, comprise a team of people who had inherited the power to interact with spirits and take it upon themselves to hunt down those spirits that are causing harm to others. Matthew, it turns out, also has this power. He joins the team, and I really can't say anything beyond that without giving away the plot.

Since this book is heavily character driven it would be a better idea to describe each of the main characters. I'll do that later, when I have the time to devote to that. As for right now, I have people to cook for.

Pretty self-explanatory.

Warning: NSFW

I haven't posted in a while. To be honest I haven't felt like there was much in my life worth talking about, and now that I'm separated from most of my family things have actually been pretty quiet around here. I mainly wrote in this journal as a form of stress relief, and since the level of stress has decreased dramatically I've had less and less need for the relief of writing about myself in this journal.

But there is some stuff going on around here.

It isn't November, but I have effectively won my own personal national novel writing month for this year. I started a project on June 27th, and have successfully written 50,000 words for that project today. I actually intend to finish the rough draft by the end of August.

It's hard to believe that it's been 6 years since I finished my first novel, then decided I needed more practice before I was ready to seek publication. I think this project is the one I will send out there. I haven't talked about it much, but I never stopped writing this whole time. I practiced constantly until I was finally satisfied with how my style has progressed. You see, I don't just want to be published. If anything with my name on it is printed, I want it to be something I would not be embarrassed to show others. Therefore, my writing has to be acceptable to me before I even dream of trying that.

Given that it has taken 6 years to reach this point, you can kind of see how I'm my own worst critic. I just hope that all of this effort pays off in the end. I'm waiting for the day when I can update my website with the news that I'll soon have a book to sell.

The horror ... the horror.


I now officially renounce my status as a member of the human race. I cannot abide being associated with a species this stupid.